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November 28, 2012
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**Thanks everyone for all your comments! Sorry I am slow to reply to them, but I just want to be sure I can reply properly ; A ;**

Alright, there's been something that really, really bothers me about shipping and RP groups. And I absolutely hate how for the life of me I can never gather and organize my thoughts in a proper manner without just seeing red half the time.

So this is probably going to come off more like a rant than anything, but I'll try to get my point across, and maybe get some advice or something to cool my jets.

First off, I've done some things in my RP group experiences that I regret, so as I fly off the handle and word vomit all over my journal, I admit that I am far from perfect. But anyways, I think one of the most important things a person can do before pursuing or getting attached to a "ship" is to be honest. Honesty is so fucking important I cannot even stress this.

Sure, you might not want to be the "bad guy" and crush someone's dreams but it's a hell of a lot better than leading somebody on, and I have been guilty of this and have even lost friends because of my fear of making people unhappy and just not being able to be honest with myself, a friend, or simply getting some balls and saying "no."

One of the biggest things that piss me off is people who refuse to endgame with anyone… which this is actually totally fine. There is nothing wrong with enjoying smut rps, or having a promiscuous character, but god damnit don't entertain a ship if you know the other person behind the character eventually would like a committed relationship for the characters.

I know too many sweet, shy, people with low self esteem and wonderful characters who just fall victim to these people and characters that lead them on, promising an "OTP' but then smutting around with everyone else. Fine, you don't want your character to settle down, but don't tell someone it will "happen eventually" or "it was just crack."

And on the other side of the coin I know people, (and have been one of these jerks), that entertain ideas and such and then feel like a complete asshat when… oops maybe I don't want this for my character. Sometimes it's hard to tell someone no, and not just say "maybe" but it's better than "shipping it" and then go off into skype and sex up some other hottie character.

Also, I wish some people would just respect other people's pairings. Butthurt is inevitable, but if you know a pairing is basically "canon" don't try to be a home wrecker. It might be fun to rp but there is another person behind these OCs, and while you might "ship it" or think it's fun, you're ripping someone else's heart out.

I just think I am the odd man out when it comes to my characters and RP'ing. I feel like one of the rare rp'ers who want exclusivity in my character's relationships. I may have fucked up and lead people on, but I didn't actually have my character in an established relationship /then/ jump ship, for a "better" character or for shits and giggles. Maybe it's because that's what I would want in an actual relationship, I don't want a boyfriend who isn't loyal to me and our relationship. And hey, call me selfish but when I make something canon I was honest and told my partners that this is how I roll. And it would break my heart if the other side of my OTP went off and slept with someone else. Granted, if all parties talk about it, and it's for plot or what have you, and everyone is okay with it, then whoo hoo! Everyone likes a little drama llama in their RPs.

So I guess my main point is, be honest with your rp partners. If you'd rather ship something else, don't sneak around the other half of your pairing, better to break up then cheat on them. And don't be home wreckers kids… it's pretty shitty to gun for sexy time rps when you know someone involved in the pairing might be really hurt about it. But hey, I suppose there's nothing wrong with grinding someone's feelings and self esteem into the ground for a nice smut rp.
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:iconbetachan:
Betachan Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2012
Since I joined Kamenoko, I've been more lenient on "staying in character" and "being objective" than in planning a relationship before hand. One thing is liking each other's characters and being like 'hey, they could be a nice couple!' and then the following successes would be determined to get them together, and it's fun and interesting and very enjoyable, that's what i've done for years.... But another thing is this new philosophy i've gotten 'whatever happens, happens'. It's letting things come by themselves, letting your character do what they'd normally do, even if it's against your own beliefs. Having a character who has commitment issues flirt or sleep around, cheating, "ruining" the pairing; or having a character with fears about relationships be indecisive and back off at last minute. Because it's stuff that happens in real life to people, the human psyche makes us imperfect, doubtful and regretful, so I guess that's one of the reasons why 'staying in character' is so important when you roleplay, disconnecting your feelings and personal beliefs from your character's mindset. To not force it and let things develop at their own pace; be it fast like a passionate spur of the moment, or slowly like an 'acquaintances->friends->lovers' kind of deal. As long as you're staying in character and making them do what they would normally do, whatever is good!

Tho, I totally understand not wanting to hurt the other roleplayer's feelings if they're too sensitive about that stuff, if it's so so important to them, then, that's their thing! It's worth of respect, nonetheless. I mean, if you like planning a ship beforehand and enjoy it then go for it my dude, but if you just let things happen and make your character indecisive and cheating and a liar because that's how their personality works, then i don't think you should get judged so harshly either! Say, if the other roleplayer KNOWS how your character is, I mean, if they actually read your app and not just saw the pic and thought bout a cool fluffy otp to have.

As always and obviously, communication and not taking things personally are a must.

BUT THAT'S MY OPION THO, EACH TO THEIR OWN, EACH TO THEIR OWN.
SHIPPING IS SUCH A COMPLICATED DEAL, BUT THESE ARE MY 2CENTS ON THE MATTER
HAPPY RPING DEATH :iconkumakissplz:
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:icondeathbychopsticks:
DeathByChopsticks Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2012
Yes yes, I totally agree. I don't see anything wrong with people wanting to go slow and plan out a pairing, and I also don't find anything wrong in those who have more laid back, or even promiscuous characters. And especially in a more modern setting like Kamenoko, it's more likely that characters are going to sleep around, just like in the real world... just because characters have a one night stand, or are causal sex pals or w/e doesn't mean that they are going to fall in love and get married, just like some people in the real world. Staying in character is a quality that I find to be something more quality rp'er possess. They don't just make their characters sleep together because they think a person has hot art or a hot character, if it's in character then cool beans.

But what I kinda meant to address here was that it upsets me when, there is a mutual agreement between two people to invest in a couple, and these people are taking it slow and planning or w/e they are doing but the masses or a certain person doesn't like that pairing and wants to see something else happen. It's messed up to have your otp against the canon couple and try to get people to side with you, say negative things about one side of the pairing, draw art of it and get a fanbase when their is a canon relationship.

To me it's like, you are married to Kyon... but I think Kyon and me are so cute, so despite the fact that you are married, I'm going to ship myself and kyon, and every chance I get behind your back I'm gonna try to make us happen.

I think part of it too is there are certain people who are totally cool with multi-shipping in fandoms... that's fine too w/e but at least it's different. Who cares if you ship Obama x Romney and Obama x Lincoln because these aren't people's OCs (LMAO MY EXAMPLES ARE SO SHITTY //CHOKES). But sometimes it's just rude and not cool to multi-ship in a rp group when THE CANON PAIRING WANTS THE COUPLE TO BE LOYAL.

Also, what if the homewrecker /knows/ that they have hurt and really made one side of the canon couple very upset... but still continues to go after the couple they want? And the heartbroken side of that otp gets bashed in chats because the fans of this other pairing would rather see the otp breakup... to the point where they have almost quit the group multiple times? AND the bashed person told the other person in person of these issues? =____________=

It's different I think, when you have a couple or characters who want to have FRIENDSHIPS and in canon, they either know barely anything about relationships, or they are extremely loyal. So it's rude of someone to try constantly to get these characters to have sex with your character, unless it's planned and stuff. It sucks when you can't even have an important friendship with a character because the other person will automatically lose interest in you and disappear again if they don't get their sex rp.

All in all, I agree. Communication is important. But it's way too hard for me to not take things personally when my friends are being hurt, and when my character or the characters of my friends are involved. They are too important to me ; n ; I guess I'm just too emotionally invested.

This is all also why, people talk shit on me for pairing with the same people over and over. But too many people are douches and it's really hard to trust people. But i've grown a thicker skin since joining Pokepalace, it being my first time rp'ing and my first time having to deal with so much drama llama. But I still have fun! I just am tired.
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:iconbetachan:
Betachan Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2012
bloody hell death omg wow ok now i get your point i was taking it from a different perspective
i can see it, it's different if it's a mutual agreement but god damn it you shouldn't get shit from shiping with WHOEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT because jesus fuckng christ in heaven abide THEY ARE YOUR CHARACTERS AAAH!!!!!
fuck ppl death, fuck ppl and do your own thing
if someone gets pissy bout your decisions
then wow sorri buddy but im doing what i consider better for my characters
i'll give you another response more proper off course,
riht now i'm jsut speaking out of my mind because i got mad that you're getting shit for this 8( i dont think its fair
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:icondeathbychopsticks:
DeathByChopsticks Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2012
IT'S OKAY BETA jkshdjkghdskgdsg :iconwind-plz:

It's not just me specifically, but some of my close pals... and this outburst from me has just been boiling and boiling ever since I started to RP here on DA, because I have seen similar situations happen over and over and over.

And I guess if I get one thing out, even if I'm just typing and typing and not really making sense or making a good argument... is that some really nice people who feel like they aren't heard, get to be heard.

And maybe people who act like they are super fun nice sweethearts, will stop being inconsiderate and sneaky and think about what they engage in and maybe some people will find the courage to be honest and talk about shit that's eating them up.

:iconiknowthatfeelplz:
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:icontaxirabbit:
TaxiRabbit Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
;u;
; u ;
So many feelings for this post, bby. So many.
//just hugs
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:icondeathbychopsticks:
DeathByChopsticks Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2012
my perpetually in-a-wad panties = v =
:iconiknowthatfeelplz: :heart:
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:iconfaluu:
faluu Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Wow, I've only ever been in like 2 uhm OTP things hakdaksda
//does not even know how this shipping thing works
And that's only with really close friends
But I've heard a bit from others about heartbreaks and OTPs NGGGGG
:iconsupertighthugplz: aksjdaksd Deathh I hope you get some really committed relationships for both ships and IRL <33
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:iconlostangel565:
lostangel565 Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012
I keep trying to think of something to write here and yet my mind keeps turning up blank but everything of this is just 500% accurate that I can't even--

GAH THIS JUST GIVES ME TOO MANY FEELS TO THINK

But I do hope that everything is still going well for you and everyone else. ...MAN I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY BUT I JUST--I FEEL YOUR PAIN.
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:iconvirensnova:
virensnova Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012
I AGREE 100%, this is perfectly worded and you aren't the only one who feels this way.

I'm exactly the same, I feel like I'm almost loyal to a fault sometimes and I get super attached to my OTPs. Once I pair my character with someone I would never be able to pair that same character with someone else sdfcsfgdfg

I also feel the best pairings are the slow build ones? Like my favourite pairing right now took a little bit to develop but I love it all the more for that? We really got a chance to develop the characters and their interactions and what makes their relationship and friendship special before we got to anything super "romantically inclined"?

But then I'm a sucker for character development, and I hate smut without a purpose? Porn without plot is not my thing LMAO

I feel a little odd saying this but I'm the same way with my relationships, the last thing I want to do is get up close and personal with some random I need to get to know them really well first and I sort of take the same approach to RP partners and pairings.
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:iconsarimnarim:
SarimNarim Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Amg.....reading this made me feel not so alone. Thank you for that. Id like to rub this in alot of my friends faces. Smut hunters break my heart, and im bitter about rp'ing because of them. Honest. :iconbawsonplz:
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