**Thanks everyone for all your comments! Sorry I am slow to reply to them, but I just want to be sure I can reply properly ; A ;**
Alright, there's been something that really, really bothers me about shipping and RP groups. And I absolutely hate how for the life of me I can never gather and organize my thoughts in a proper manner without just seeing red half the time.
So this is probably going to come off more like a rant than anything, but I'll try to get my point across, and maybe get some advice or something to cool my jets.
First off, I've done some things in my RP group experiences that I regret, so as I fly off the handle and word vomit all over my journal, I admit that I am far from perfect. But anyways, I think one of the most important things a person can do before pursuing or getting attached to a "ship" is to be honest. Honesty is so fucking important I cannot even stress this.
Sure, you might not want to be the "bad guy" and crush someone's dreams but it's a hell of a lot better than leading somebody on, and I have been guilty of this and have even lost friends because of my fear of making people unhappy and just not being able to be honest with myself, a friend, or simply getting some balls and saying "no."
One of the biggest things that piss me off is people who refuse to endgame with anyone… which this is actually totally fine. There is nothing wrong with enjoying smut rps, or having a promiscuous character, but god damnit don't entertain a ship if you know the other person behind the character eventually would like a committed relationship for the characters.
I know too many sweet, shy, people with low self esteem and wonderful characters who just fall victim to these people and characters that lead them on, promising an "OTP' but then smutting around with everyone else. Fine, you don't want your character to settle down, but don't tell someone it will "happen eventually" or "it was just crack."
And on the other side of the coin I know people, (and have been one of these jerks), that entertain ideas and such and then feel like a complete asshat when… oops maybe I don't want this for my character. Sometimes it's hard to tell someone no, and not just say "maybe" but it's better than "shipping it" and then go off into skype and sex up some other hottie character.
Also, I wish some people would just respect other people's pairings. Butthurt is inevitable, but if you know a pairing is basically "canon" don't try to be a home wrecker. It might be fun to rp but there is another person behind these OCs, and while you might "ship it" or think it's fun, you're ripping someone else's heart out.
I just think I am the odd man out when it comes to my characters and RP'ing. I feel like one of the rare rp'ers who want exclusivity in my character's relationships. I may have fucked up and lead people on, but I didn't actually have my character in an established relationship /then/ jump ship, for a "better" character or for shits and giggles. Maybe it's because that's what I would want in an actual relationship, I don't want a boyfriend who isn't loyal to me and our relationship. And hey, call me selfish but when I make something canon I was honest and told my partners that this is how I roll. And it would break my heart if the other side of my OTP went off and slept with someone else. Granted, if all parties talk about it, and it's for plot or what have you, and everyone is okay with it, then whoo hoo! Everyone likes a little drama llama in their RPs.
So I guess my main point is, be honest with your rp partners. If you'd rather ship something else, don't sneak around the other half of your pairing, better to break up then cheat on them. And don't be home wreckers kids… it's pretty shitty to gun for sexy time rps when you know someone involved in the pairing might be really hurt about it. But hey, I suppose there's nothing wrong with grinding someone's feelings and self esteem into the ground for a nice smut rp.