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[RP RANT] Don't so readily give your heart
4 min read
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**Thanks everyone for all your comments! Sorry I am slow to reply to them, but I just want to be sure I can reply properly ; A ;**
Alright, there's been something that really, really bothers me about shipping and RP groups. And I absolutely hate how for the life of me I can never gather and organize my thoughts in a proper manner without just seeing red half the time.
So this is probably going to come off more like a rant than anything, but I'll try to get my point across, and maybe get some advice or something to cool my jets.
First off, I've done some things in my RP group experiences that I regret, so as I fly off the handle and word vomit all over my journal, I admit that I am far from perfect. But anyways, I think one of the most important things a person can do before pursuing or getting attached to a "ship" is to be honest. Honesty is so fucking important I cannot even stress this.
Sure, you might not want to be the "bad guy" and crush someone's dreams but it's a hell of a lot better than leading somebody on, and I have been guilty of this and have even lost friends because of my fear of making people unhappy and just not being able to be honest with myself, a friend, or simply getting some balls and saying "no."
One of the biggest things that piss me off is people who refuse to endgame with anyone… which this is actually totally fine. There is nothing wrong with enjoying smut rps, or having a promiscuous character, but god damnit don't entertain a ship if you know the other person behind the character eventually would like a committed relationship for the characters.
I know too many sweet, shy, people with low self esteem and wonderful characters who just fall victim to these people and characters that lead them on, promising an "OTP' but then smutting around with everyone else. Fine, you don't want your character to settle down, but don't tell someone it will "happen eventually" or "it was just crack."
And on the other side of the coin I know people, (and have been one of these jerks), that entertain ideas and such and then feel like a complete asshat when… oops maybe I don't want this for my character. Sometimes it's hard to tell someone no, and not just say "maybe" but it's better than "shipping it" and then go off into skype and sex up some other hottie character.
Also, I wish some people would just respect other people's pairings. Butthurt is inevitable, but if you know a pairing is basically "canon" don't try to be a home wrecker. It might be fun to rp but there is another person behind these OCs, and while you might "ship it" or think it's fun, you're ripping someone else's heart out.
I just think I am the odd man out when it comes to my characters and RP'ing. I feel like one of the rare rp'ers who want exclusivity in my character's relationships. I may have fucked up and lead people on, but I didn't actually have my character in an established relationship /then/ jump ship, for a "better" character or for shits and giggles. Maybe it's because that's what I would want in an actual relationship, I don't want a boyfriend who isn't loyal to me and our relationship. And hey, call me selfish but when I make something canon I was honest and told my partners that this is how I roll. And it would break my heart if the other side of my OTP went off and slept with someone else. Granted, if all parties talk about it, and it's for plot or what have you, and everyone is okay with it, then whoo hoo! Everyone likes a little drama llama in their RPs.
So I guess my main point is, be honest with your rp partners. If you'd rather ship something else, don't sneak around the other half of your pairing, better to break up then cheat on them. And don't be home wreckers kids… it's pretty shitty to gun for sexy time rps when you know someone involved in the pairing might be really hurt about it. But hey, I suppose there's nothing wrong with grinding someone's feelings and self esteem into the ground for a nice smut rp.
Alright, there's been something that really, really bothers me about shipping and RP groups. And I absolutely hate how for the life of me I can never gather and organize my thoughts in a proper manner without just seeing red half the time.
So this is probably going to come off more like a rant than anything, but I'll try to get my point across, and maybe get some advice or something to cool my jets.
First off, I've done some things in my RP group experiences that I regret, so as I fly off the handle and word vomit all over my journal, I admit that I am far from perfect. But anyways, I think one of the most important things a person can do before pursuing or getting attached to a "ship" is to be honest. Honesty is so fucking important I cannot even stress this.
Sure, you might not want to be the "bad guy" and crush someone's dreams but it's a hell of a lot better than leading somebody on, and I have been guilty of this and have even lost friends because of my fear of making people unhappy and just not being able to be honest with myself, a friend, or simply getting some balls and saying "no."
One of the biggest things that piss me off is people who refuse to endgame with anyone… which this is actually totally fine. There is nothing wrong with enjoying smut rps, or having a promiscuous character, but god damnit don't entertain a ship if you know the other person behind the character eventually would like a committed relationship for the characters.
I know too many sweet, shy, people with low self esteem and wonderful characters who just fall victim to these people and characters that lead them on, promising an "OTP' but then smutting around with everyone else. Fine, you don't want your character to settle down, but don't tell someone it will "happen eventually" or "it was just crack."
And on the other side of the coin I know people, (and have been one of these jerks), that entertain ideas and such and then feel like a complete asshat when… oops maybe I don't want this for my character. Sometimes it's hard to tell someone no, and not just say "maybe" but it's better than "shipping it" and then go off into skype and sex up some other hottie character.
Also, I wish some people would just respect other people's pairings. Butthurt is inevitable, but if you know a pairing is basically "canon" don't try to be a home wrecker. It might be fun to rp but there is another person behind these OCs, and while you might "ship it" or think it's fun, you're ripping someone else's heart out.
I just think I am the odd man out when it comes to my characters and RP'ing. I feel like one of the rare rp'ers who want exclusivity in my character's relationships. I may have fucked up and lead people on, but I didn't actually have my character in an established relationship /then/ jump ship, for a "better" character or for shits and giggles. Maybe it's because that's what I would want in an actual relationship, I don't want a boyfriend who isn't loyal to me and our relationship. And hey, call me selfish but when I make something canon I was honest and told my partners that this is how I roll. And it would break my heart if the other side of my OTP went off and slept with someone else. Granted, if all parties talk about it, and it's for plot or what have you, and everyone is okay with it, then whoo hoo! Everyone likes a little drama llama in their RPs.
So I guess my main point is, be honest with your rp partners. If you'd rather ship something else, don't sneak around the other half of your pairing, better to break up then cheat on them. And don't be home wreckers kids… it's pretty shitty to gun for sexy time rps when you know someone involved in the pairing might be really hurt about it. But hey, I suppose there's nothing wrong with grinding someone's feelings and self esteem into the ground for a nice smut rp.
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This has actually happened to me once a long time ago. My character was in an established pairing with another character and another person came along and decided that their character was a better fit than mine. They drew art of their character with my character's girlfriend and even tried to worm their way in during RPs, I told this person out of character and in character to back off but they refused. I was in a different timezone so I couldn't RP my pairing as often as I would've liked which made it easier for the other person to worm their way in.
It ended up having a negative effect on me and my character as he then grew possessive of his girlfriend all because this one asshole didn't get the message. My character's girlfriend ended up dumping my character and then shacked up with this other person's character not long after. I then had to endure endless group RPs where this new pairing was shoved down my throat. I took frequent breaks from the group chatroom as a result. When I was in the group chatroom I got into endless arguments with people, there would be drama both in and out of RPs. My characters were ignored deliberately in RPs. I will admit I got angry a lot and lashed out because people in the group and the chat had turned against me, they told me to just "get over it"...which made me even more hurt and angry which escalated things even further. I will admit I could've handled the situation much better but at the time I was also going through some irl stuff as well. There was a lot of shit happening in my job and my grandma was critically ill in the hospital so my emotions were already running high when all the shit hit the fan so to speak. In the end I left the group because staying there literally drove me insane.
After that I went from group to group basically having my characters overlooked and ignored because the art of other characters looked prettier than mine. There's more to a character than pretty art, I took time and effort to develop my characters and they were overlooked because the art wasn't pretty enough...which really pissed me off.
Now I don't plan pairings out (unless its one on one RPs with very close friends I trust). Now I have the mentality of whatever happens happens, if my character ends up in a romantic relationship that's fine, if they don't that's fine to. There are more to RPs than romance and smutt, I prefer to RP for story and character development than romance and smutt. Besides there are other types of character relationships that aren't romantic and/or smutty. There are friendships, rivalries, enemies etc.
People shouldn't try to wreck an already established relationship as it can cause a lot of problems as me and I'm sure many others have experienced. I'm also pretty sure that they wouldn't like it if it was done to them which makes me believe that people who do this sort of thing have no respect for the people around them and will carry on doing what they're doing regardless.
It ended up having a negative effect on me and my character as he then grew possessive of his girlfriend all because this one asshole didn't get the message. My character's girlfriend ended up dumping my character and then shacked up with this other person's character not long after. I then had to endure endless group RPs where this new pairing was shoved down my throat. I took frequent breaks from the group chatroom as a result. When I was in the group chatroom I got into endless arguments with people, there would be drama both in and out of RPs. My characters were ignored deliberately in RPs. I will admit I got angry a lot and lashed out because people in the group and the chat had turned against me, they told me to just "get over it"...which made me even more hurt and angry which escalated things even further. I will admit I could've handled the situation much better but at the time I was also going through some irl stuff as well. There was a lot of shit happening in my job and my grandma was critically ill in the hospital so my emotions were already running high when all the shit hit the fan so to speak. In the end I left the group because staying there literally drove me insane.
After that I went from group to group basically having my characters overlooked and ignored because the art of other characters looked prettier than mine. There's more to a character than pretty art, I took time and effort to develop my characters and they were overlooked because the art wasn't pretty enough...which really pissed me off.
Now I don't plan pairings out (unless its one on one RPs with very close friends I trust). Now I have the mentality of whatever happens happens, if my character ends up in a romantic relationship that's fine, if they don't that's fine to. There are more to RPs than romance and smutt, I prefer to RP for story and character development than romance and smutt. Besides there are other types of character relationships that aren't romantic and/or smutty. There are friendships, rivalries, enemies etc.
People shouldn't try to wreck an already established relationship as it can cause a lot of problems as me and I'm sure many others have experienced. I'm also pretty sure that they wouldn't like it if it was done to them which makes me believe that people who do this sort of thing have no respect for the people around them and will carry on doing what they're doing regardless.